Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize