If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
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