He told me they were just razor bumps!
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
