halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Randomize
