I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
