Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Randomize
