I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
