I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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