Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
