he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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