I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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