i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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