How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
