he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
