I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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