i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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