my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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