We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Randomize
