you turned your livingroom into a bong?
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Randomize
