I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
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