you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Randomize
