i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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