he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
