Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Randomize
