That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
