You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
