So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I enjoy the company of your penis
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
