Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
It was confusing and full of hummus
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
