you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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