I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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