make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
