I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
