ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
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I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
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My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
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