I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
