I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
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