Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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