yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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