Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
