based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Randomize
