There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
