I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
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