she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Randomize
