The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
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