i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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