Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
