Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
This baby is an asshole
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Randomize