I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
