Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
