I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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