Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize