Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
