I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize