She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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