hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
