I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
