Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
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