Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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