Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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