Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize