Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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