i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
