I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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